Saturday, November 26, 2011

Beginning

Welcome to my journey. I'm starting this blog to give me accountability and reflection during my weight loss journey. Let me start by introducing myself.

I'm Jen. A 36 year old wife and mother of one. I've battled with weight my entire life. I was always what my mother called "chubby". I was placed on my first diet at 7 years old and have been on that roller coaster every since. I gain, I loose, I gain more, I lose a little. It's a vicious and exhausting cycle and I'm ready for it to end.

At this point in my life I feel like I don't have a choice. I currently weigh 275 lbs. I've been fortunate up to this point not to have experienced any major medical issues caused by my weight but sometimes I feel like a ticking time bomb, it's only a matter of time. I need to deal with whatever issues I have that cause my weight problem. I need to make myself a priority. I need to get off my lazy butt and do this!

My goal is not just to lose weight but to rediscover myself. It's amazing how much your weight can affect every aspect of your life. Sometimes I look back at photos of myself during my teens and early twenties, I was only moderately overweight then, and I see this happy out going girl with so much confidence and sass. I think to myself, what happened to her. I see so little of her in me now. Now I'm shy and avoid social situations. I always check the room to see if I'm the fattest person there. I'm embarrassed to meet new people for fear of what they are thinking of me. I know I have a lot of great qualities but I feel like they are all overshadowed by the fat. How can I expect other people to look past the weight when I certainly can't.

Like many obese people I have considered weight loss surgery but since I am healthy it seems like an unnecessary risk. So I will be doing this the old fashioned way, with diet and exercise. I don't plan to use this blog as a food diary or exercise log, though I'll be happy to answer questions about those things. I plan to use this as more of a report card and emotional safe place. It's cheaper than therapy. I hope you'll follow me as begin to take control of my life and make some drastic changes to myself inside and out .

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